Gathering All the Animals
Compared to Noah, I couldn’t find a lion in my living room. Quiet, settled, subtly humored, Noah knew exactly which stream banks lay slathered thick with alligators, on which kjopes lions stoically scouted for prey, and precisely how close to wildebeest herds he could set us walking without probably getting trampled. Lorraine, I, and long-time fellow trekker Richard Craig had just come down from traversing Mount Kilimanjaro, and a friend had linked us with Noah as the “most intriguing” driver/guide for a few weeks camping safari in Tanzania’s Serengeti…

From the moment we tossed ourselves and gear into Noah’s “Jarringly Jouncing Jeep,” the three of us realized we had a perfect fit. Noah was the first man we’d met in all Tanzania with camping equipment as worn and aged as our own. Pointing “JJJ” roughly toward Mount Mehru, our guide began expanding our Swahili expletive vocabulary as he fist-swatted the swarming tsetse flies against the dashboard. (Tsetse bites make our American greenhead’s worst efforts feel like a gentle kiss.)

It soon became apparent. We had own definite ideas about this photo safari, and Noah had the right ones. “Yes, of course,” he had wryly noted, “you don’t need a cook, but then the baboons will destroy everything.” Thus we had hired on Grayson to make scrumptious meals and fend voracious intruders by day while the four of us drove across the dust-choking plains in search of game…..

As we huddled close to our charcoal fire, gazing uneasily at the predatory eyes crouching seemingly a few leaps away in the inky dark, Noah gleefully spun “true” tales of hyena and big cat attacks. He and Richard also swapped military stories of serving in Vietnam – ironically on opposite sides. (Apparently, some contorted Russia/Tanaznia treaty had placed a bewildered young Noah training in North Vietnam camps.) Not surprisingly, both men shared a chest of anecdotes concerning military inefficiency – SNAFU….

Did Noah live up to his biblical name in showing us all the animals? Was it really his fault that we were sprinting down this trail toward the jeep with an ardently perturbed cape buffalo right behind us? More about this fellow traveler will be revealed in further pages.

Writing – BartsBooks