I learned that the Rockettes are giving free aerobic classes online.  So I grabbed a cold beer, tuned in, and I must say it really works – my heart hasn’t raced this fast in years.

***

 I truly admire everyone efforts to fill us with good cheer during these times, and I’m sure I could pull myself out of the dumps if only my investments would turn around and lead the way.  (When the liquor business booms – beware your portfolio, my friend.)

***

Now that the president’s name is printed on the stimulus checks, they may be issued in hopes that, like a small child swallowing a dime, they may quickly pass through, providing no effect on the child, and go on to stimulate the corporations so desperately in need.  (Notice: they were not called “public aid checks.)

***

This morning I knocked on the back door of a store and a man wearing a mask sold me one large pack of toilet paper. I felt half way between the 1950’s Soviet communist shopper and a Prohibition era alcoholic trying to enter a speakeasy.

  ***

This virus is harsh – I’ve finally learned to handle the social distancing, but it’s the fiscal distancing – watching my money drift ever further away, that’s crushing me.

  ***
One thing I’ve learned from this virus is gratitude for everything from friendship to toilet paper. Before it, I was like the farmer so busy praying for rain that I forgot to hold out my cup in a thunderstorm.

     Social Media is a mask that allows you to scream to an audience of thousands tales that would make you blush crimson if told to one friend in a bar room.